" I'm tired of living unable to love anyone - not one. And, worst of all, I can't even love myself. Why is that? Why can't I love myself? It's because I can't love anyone else. A person learns to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by someone else. Do you understand what I am saying? A person who is incapable of loving another cannot properly love himself." - Haruki Murakami
Having a greater happiness after finding smaller ones; that's my goal in life - JJ
As time passes and the more you get to know me, you would probably just be disappointed.
If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success. I can be meant when I want to, even when that person is You !
Being at your peak or being at your down point of time, you are entirely yourselves. Happy - sad - fun - down moments, the only one will be there all the time with you, is none rather than you - yourself alone. Isn't it suck to have a life like that?
From different perspective even from myself, I do and do not agree with this. Yes, there are moments when I want to be exclusive mine - let me be in my own little world, weird though but yet that's just me. I'm tired of thingS T___T
It's impossible to not hurt anyone. But that's what it means to keep on living. Nice saying but how hurt have I been hurting others? Time passes, the wound is healed, perhaps... 說好的幸福呢, 是 在那里了...
Sé mejor persona por ti, no por ellos !
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
Without any means available, knowing they are no longer here, little by little, their bodies are made to remember that
The cells in our body, one by one absorbs the bitter-sweet. And second by second, shorten our life.
Who we are is a gift from God. What we become is a gift to God.
There are no words to describe the debilitating pain and silence which are munching my brain and my heart .
Is Heaven far from here ... ?
Friday, 28 September 2012
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Happiness
yes, I'm very hyper right now :)
This year might mark another important & memorable to both my family and me.
Hope that everything would happen nicely !!
I feel happy for her, somehow I can feel the happiness through her voice. It looks like she enjoys her life right now, and yes I'm happy too <3
So many big decisions are being decided this first 2 months, and yet I'm so looking forward to the year-end.
Is it gonna be another happy year for me, for her & for us?
I wanna see new things, new people, new life. Thus it could explain the reason why I support her decision. Yes, since we have nothing to hold back there, why not !!! It could be even a better one, perhaps.
Everybody thoughts I'm some kind of workaholic, materialistic - but as compared to all wonderful people around me, I do know that I'm nothing, sometimes I even feel that I'm useless. Yet I believe God creates us - each human being- for a purpose. Thus, I am living my life to fulfill that purpose, perhaps, by enlightening others' life.
I know at the very next moment, I would be back to my own-self, being consumed by thoughts, by work and by people. But yes, in this very silent night, I'm happy and I know it :)
God bless you!
This year might mark another important & memorable to both my family and me.
Hope that everything would happen nicely !!
I feel happy for her, somehow I can feel the happiness through her voice. It looks like she enjoys her life right now, and yes I'm happy too <3
So many big decisions are being decided this first 2 months, and yet I'm so looking forward to the year-end.
Is it gonna be another happy year for me, for her & for us?
I wanna see new things, new people, new life. Thus it could explain the reason why I support her decision. Yes, since we have nothing to hold back there, why not !!! It could be even a better one, perhaps.
Everybody thoughts I'm some kind of workaholic, materialistic - but as compared to all wonderful people around me, I do know that I'm nothing, sometimes I even feel that I'm useless. Yet I believe God creates us - each human being- for a purpose. Thus, I am living my life to fulfill that purpose, perhaps, by enlightening others' life.
I know at the very next moment, I would be back to my own-self, being consumed by thoughts, by work and by people. But yes, in this very silent night, I'm happy and I know it :)
God bless you!
Saturday, 31 December 2011
My 2011
Last day of the year - 31/12/2011 and yes, this is my birthday :)
Feel so blessed after a long sleep, I woke up with multi-messages from everyone :) I am loved and I am touched , feel happy reading some message, especially from my Mum, my old IT Teacher. They are all wonderful women in my eye, I got a lot of inspiration from them. Feel so blessed that I am still able to talk to them, feel the love from them day by day, it's just simply great.
This year definitely marks an unforgettable, impressive and memorable memory in my life. Let's go through what had happened this year :)
Jan 2011 : yes a silence birthday celebration, unexpected but not surprised when you didn't know my birthday haha, but it's ok since I also didn't tell you :) Flying back to Singapore on the 1st, having some little celebration with my GodMum :) They are so sweet and very supportive to me. We barely knew each others last time, but see how life turns us to be . I feel happy when I am with them and that's enough for me.
Feb 2011: feeling down after receiving Imagine Cup 2011 result, we didn't make it to second round. However, that was the time when I enjoy the most, running round and round to get support from authority for our project , yet I was happy back then
Mar 2011: despite the fact that school opens in April, yet we decided to start our project a bit early, digging into unknown technology - ArcGIS . we had much difficult time to figure out even a simplest thing - how to draw a 3D shape , Google has proven that it is indeed our best friend all the time. I still remember one time, when JA and I went back to our school foodcourt 5 for discussion, we stayed till late to just figure out how to draw a bloody hell 3D things, trying our from google earth, google stretch up, and so on. funny yet busy testing out the new source
Apr - Jun 2011: busy time for everyone, for the rest it is a deadline for phase 1 project, when they have to present their idea and yet, we need to deliver our products in good shape - guess the thought of it is already tiring enough :) but we made it !!!! Awesome memorable memory when once we stayed up till very late at foodcourt 6, till all the light was blackout, yet the only source of lightening was from our laptop, we still worked on it !! such a devoted group at that time <3
Jun - I hate Jun and Dec , simply because this is exam time :) stress-level slowly yet steadily shoot up when I took 3 papers at 1 time, Law - Tax - Finance paper, awesome yet tiring :) I somehow like Law much, guess it was because the logic behind each case, the moment when you read the case, think of which law should be applied to it, think of how to turn the logic part out, and then what is the final solution for it , the feeling is just so great - despite of memorizing thousands of theories, case names and so on, I enjoyed it :) Till now, I still like Law a lot, but the thought of pursuing a Law Degree strikes me, I guess I am simply enjoy it T____T
Jul 2011: I will definitely remember this day 26 Jul 2011 . The final round for SLA Spatial Challenge 2011, which was held at National Library, everyone was nervous yet we were all able to make it through. the moment when the MC announced who was the winner <3 I could not hold myself back and yet, I screamed haha , the scream of joy :) we smiled, we felt so blessed, we felt touched , that moment was simply unforgettable.
Aug 2011: Entering into 2nd competition SiTF 2011, enjoyed a little performance from the event, yet everyone was so nervous, waiting endlessly for the announcement. when "VivaStudio" name was announced, we hugged each others. The feeling of being a team, we love and treasure each other :) we proudly walked to the stage and got our little "star" awards, taking multi-pictures and enjoyed our little dinner at the Art House, feel extremely happy :)
Sep 2011: Receiving a very good support from school, all 5 of us were sponsored to participate in International Competition level - APICTA 2011 . Such an honored we received. Upgrading systems and touching up in our presentation skill were definitely a "must-do-it" if we wanted to present tertiary student category to participate in this event.
Oct 2011: much anticipating for the Thailand trip ( Apicta), 3rd competition and knowing my Internship attachment posting , we simply felt glad for whatever we had. Our short "holiday" in Pattaya, Thailand was simply great. The first time I played "Flying Lantern" and of course, can't forget making a wish as well :)
Nov 2011 - Dec 2011 : Internship Attachment finally "started" to us :) It was a great opportunity when the company really let me participate in real projects, got a chance to meet awesome people in the industry, experienced and learnt at the same time <3 Gotta work with awesome, yet funny consultants, I felt so happy about it, despite the stress and tiredness after a long day at work.
Dec 2011 : multiple awesome events happened continuously made me feel overwhelmed with joy :) Started by company workshop, when they secretly celebrated birthday for all Dec colleagues, and yes I was one of them ( only 2 of us ) I am a Dec-girl haha <3 speechless when you announced who was the birthday girl, don't you know you could be a great actress, especially when during lunch, we were happily talking about each other birthday, then went to buy birthday cakes & stuffs together. then indeed you are one of the organizers <3
- 2nd early birthday celebration with one of my closest member from Green Transformer team - Guess I did make a right decision to join that trip, without going there, I wouldn't ever meet and know all of them, and yet all these happen moments couldn't ever happen. She looked pretty much that time, going to compliment on her outfit and then I was the one being surprised when she took out 2 little cute birthday cakes :) how thoughtful you were :)
- awesome Green Transformers xMas gathering at Vjie's house :) having a Potato fest haha , everything was about potatoes , guess we wouldn't eat potato within these few months ^^ and yes, I learnt how to make "Sandwiches" >___< I know I am a lousy cook, even sandwiches also don't know how to make. I love to feel the love when someone cooks for me :)
- the most crazy night to spend your xMas is ----- coding :| haha but yet, it was memorable too, spent a night at SH's house and helping "pretty Alicia" to touch up on her JSTL assignment ^^ a good day to remember
- 25 Dec : vivastudio meeting at our lovely supervisor house , yes she is more than a lecturer, a supervisor, a mentor to us. She 's such a kind, warm and devoted Christian. From her, I slowly start to believe in God, despite my parents are Catholic, I am still a free thinker. but from her, I start to believe in him, for me it was because I have no one else to believe in, and yes I choose him to Believe in. Because I know he will always listen to me, he won't betray me and he'll definitely support me. How pathetic I am !!
yes, It is my life in this year -- being much up and down the whole year, but the good thing is that ..... I turn into a better person and I know / realise it :) guess it was because of all things I had gone through.
As compared to me myself in 2010 and way before, I was too much occupied by my work, by my little aim and thus, I seemed to ignored people around me, my family, my friend and my love. I turned them down when they needed me, reason being because I was too busy, goal-oriented to achieve my things - without realising that I was hurting them day by day . I achieved my things without satisfaction .How could I ever feel satisfied when they were not with me anymore when I got my achievements.
Luckily, in this year I realised my mistake and happily, I know what I should and have to do. I treasure every little moment I have with them. I learn how to let things go and learn to forgive and forget as well. Forgive all the hatred, all the sadness I give / receive from others - it is definitely an endless issue if I don't open up myself to others and keep holding that hatred with me.
Meeting great people and let them influenced you - that is the best thing I receive this year . Thank everyone of you for making my life turn into a better way.
Last but not least, for some certain people in my life, I am sincerely sorry for not keeping my promise to you, I couldn't be the one I promised you to, I couldn't be the one who bring you all the things I promised and make it come true . yet I know for now, You have been receiving it from other , and I 'm glad you are having a good life ahead - without me. I seriously and sincerely wish you happiness, luck for all the things you are aiming for.
Thank you everyone, without you guys/ gals - I couldn't be the one I am know . May our friendship grows stronger over the years . I will certainly always be here when you guys need me !
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 <3
Feel so blessed after a long sleep, I woke up with multi-messages from everyone :) I am loved and I am touched , feel happy reading some message, especially from my Mum, my old IT Teacher. They are all wonderful women in my eye, I got a lot of inspiration from them. Feel so blessed that I am still able to talk to them, feel the love from them day by day, it's just simply great.
This year definitely marks an unforgettable, impressive and memorable memory in my life. Let's go through what had happened this year :)
Jan 2011 : yes a silence birthday celebration, unexpected but not surprised when you didn't know my birthday haha, but it's ok since I also didn't tell you :) Flying back to Singapore on the 1st, having some little celebration with my GodMum :) They are so sweet and very supportive to me. We barely knew each others last time, but see how life turns us to be . I feel happy when I am with them and that's enough for me.
Feb 2011: feeling down after receiving Imagine Cup 2011 result, we didn't make it to second round. However, that was the time when I enjoy the most, running round and round to get support from authority for our project , yet I was happy back then
Mar 2011: despite the fact that school opens in April, yet we decided to start our project a bit early, digging into unknown technology - ArcGIS . we had much difficult time to figure out even a simplest thing - how to draw a 3D shape , Google has proven that it is indeed our best friend all the time. I still remember one time, when JA and I went back to our school foodcourt 5 for discussion, we stayed till late to just figure out how to draw a bloody hell 3D things, trying our from google earth, google stretch up, and so on. funny yet busy testing out the new source
Apr - Jun 2011: busy time for everyone, for the rest it is a deadline for phase 1 project, when they have to present their idea and yet, we need to deliver our products in good shape - guess the thought of it is already tiring enough :) but we made it !!!! Awesome memorable memory when once we stayed up till very late at foodcourt 6, till all the light was blackout, yet the only source of lightening was from our laptop, we still worked on it !! such a devoted group at that time <3
Jun - I hate Jun and Dec , simply because this is exam time :) stress-level slowly yet steadily shoot up when I took 3 papers at 1 time, Law - Tax - Finance paper, awesome yet tiring :) I somehow like Law much, guess it was because the logic behind each case, the moment when you read the case, think of which law should be applied to it, think of how to turn the logic part out, and then what is the final solution for it , the feeling is just so great - despite of memorizing thousands of theories, case names and so on, I enjoyed it :) Till now, I still like Law a lot, but the thought of pursuing a Law Degree strikes me, I guess I am simply enjoy it T____T
Jul 2011: I will definitely remember this day 26 Jul 2011 . The final round for SLA Spatial Challenge 2011, which was held at National Library, everyone was nervous yet we were all able to make it through. the moment when the MC announced who was the winner <3 I could not hold myself back and yet, I screamed haha , the scream of joy :) we smiled, we felt so blessed, we felt touched , that moment was simply unforgettable.
Aug 2011: Entering into 2nd competition SiTF 2011, enjoyed a little performance from the event, yet everyone was so nervous, waiting endlessly for the announcement. when "VivaStudio" name was announced, we hugged each others. The feeling of being a team, we love and treasure each other :) we proudly walked to the stage and got our little "star" awards, taking multi-pictures and enjoyed our little dinner at the Art House, feel extremely happy :)
Sep 2011: Receiving a very good support from school, all 5 of us were sponsored to participate in International Competition level - APICTA 2011 . Such an honored we received. Upgrading systems and touching up in our presentation skill were definitely a "must-do-it" if we wanted to present tertiary student category to participate in this event.
How could I ever forget this memorable experience with all my awesome Green Transformer teammates ! We all went to Inner Mongolia, China and had a wonderful community service together. Despite the cool weather on the field, our tiredness, our back pain and so on, we all made it till 1133 trees, beyond our little target of 1111 trees. Tonnes of memorable things, how could I ever forget this. I enjoyed every small moment with them, when we were on the bus travelling back-and-forth from the field, enjoy 第几个100天, 心痛, etc :) I love all these songs, somehow the lyric is very meaningful to me <3 Only 2 weeks, yet it left a deep mark in my heart, in my life ! I feel so great to be part of them, to be a friend of them :)
Oct 2011: much anticipating for the Thailand trip ( Apicta), 3rd competition and knowing my Internship attachment posting , we simply felt glad for whatever we had. Our short "holiday" in Pattaya, Thailand was simply great. The first time I played "Flying Lantern" and of course, can't forget making a wish as well :)
Nov 2011 - Dec 2011 : Internship Attachment finally "started" to us :) It was a great opportunity when the company really let me participate in real projects, got a chance to meet awesome people in the industry, experienced and learnt at the same time <3 Gotta work with awesome, yet funny consultants, I felt so happy about it, despite the stress and tiredness after a long day at work.
Dec 2011 : multiple awesome events happened continuously made me feel overwhelmed with joy :) Started by company workshop, when they secretly celebrated birthday for all Dec colleagues, and yes I was one of them ( only 2 of us ) I am a Dec-girl haha <3 speechless when you announced who was the birthday girl, don't you know you could be a great actress, especially when during lunch, we were happily talking about each other birthday, then went to buy birthday cakes & stuffs together. then indeed you are one of the organizers <3
- 2nd early birthday celebration with one of my closest member from Green Transformer team - Guess I did make a right decision to join that trip, without going there, I wouldn't ever meet and know all of them, and yet all these happen moments couldn't ever happen. She looked pretty much that time, going to compliment on her outfit and then I was the one being surprised when she took out 2 little cute birthday cakes :) how thoughtful you were :)
- awesome Green Transformers xMas gathering at Vjie's house :) having a Potato fest haha , everything was about potatoes , guess we wouldn't eat potato within these few months ^^ and yes, I learnt how to make "Sandwiches" >___< I know I am a lousy cook, even sandwiches also don't know how to make. I love to feel the love when someone cooks for me :)
- the most crazy night to spend your xMas is ----- coding :| haha but yet, it was memorable too, spent a night at SH's house and helping "pretty Alicia" to touch up on her JSTL assignment ^^ a good day to remember
- 25 Dec : vivastudio meeting at our lovely supervisor house , yes she is more than a lecturer, a supervisor, a mentor to us. She 's such a kind, warm and devoted Christian. From her, I slowly start to believe in God, despite my parents are Catholic, I am still a free thinker. but from her, I start to believe in him, for me it was because I have no one else to believe in, and yes I choose him to Believe in. Because I know he will always listen to me, he won't betray me and he'll definitely support me. How pathetic I am !!
yes, It is my life in this year -- being much up and down the whole year, but the good thing is that ..... I turn into a better person and I know / realise it :) guess it was because of all things I had gone through.
As compared to me myself in 2010 and way before, I was too much occupied by my work, by my little aim and thus, I seemed to ignored people around me, my family, my friend and my love. I turned them down when they needed me, reason being because I was too busy, goal-oriented to achieve my things - without realising that I was hurting them day by day . I achieved my things without satisfaction .How could I ever feel satisfied when they were not with me anymore when I got my achievements.
Luckily, in this year I realised my mistake and happily, I know what I should and have to do. I treasure every little moment I have with them. I learn how to let things go and learn to forgive and forget as well. Forgive all the hatred, all the sadness I give / receive from others - it is definitely an endless issue if I don't open up myself to others and keep holding that hatred with me.
Meeting great people and let them influenced you - that is the best thing I receive this year . Thank everyone of you for making my life turn into a better way.
Last but not least, for some certain people in my life, I am sincerely sorry for not keeping my promise to you, I couldn't be the one I promised you to, I couldn't be the one who bring you all the things I promised and make it come true . yet I know for now, You have been receiving it from other , and I 'm glad you are having a good life ahead - without me. I seriously and sincerely wish you happiness, luck for all the things you are aiming for.
Thank you everyone, without you guys/ gals - I couldn't be the one I am know . May our friendship grows stronger over the years . I will certainly always be here when you guys need me !
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 <3
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
whenever I am feeling down, listening to some emotional songs would be the best deal for me.
a lot of unwanted/ unexpected things have been happening which made me feel so sian, stressed and depressed recently.
is it right to say that the peak of this year was over, and now it is the time to experience your own downturn :(
day by day, accumulated unwanted/ unhappy things keep occurring continuously, which I'm here striving hard to overcome it little by little till it really strains me out
I'm out of breadth, i'm out of energy - just to realize that I'm not that strong as I ever thought so.
Striving to do things little by little - even though when one unwanted thing happens, it could waste away all my little effort - then the question is what am I striving for ? the result would still be a "No" anyway.
Everyone knows that nobody could always maintain or stay forever at the peak, it would be a time for you to come down, so that others could shine. and yes, here I'm sobbing over my little failure/ downturn. How pathetic I am !
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" We have nothing to hold back there ."
Your words keep echoing in my mind. Yet you are right. I sincerely hope that your application goes well, so that you could get rid of this kind of life which you have been suffering for years. No one can guarantee a better one over there, but perhaps you deserve to have something new in your life. To refresh, to turn over a new leaf, to start all over again, to experience new things .
A bit puzzling when you said my life over here was fast, thus why I was like being flooded/ flown away with my hectic life. However I am not really sure what you said was right or not.
different countries, different place and thus, different life style, different pace. If I were you , I would have love your life style, instead of my own one then. I do feel that my life pace now is fast, but somehow it seems not fast enough to really flood me away to everything. I'm actively forcing myself to be busy, to be involved in so many things. The funny thing is that I even don't know the real reason why I do so. All I want is to make my life turn worse, depressing. and then when I achieve it, I could go crazy and feel depressed about it. How crazy I am .
haizz, enough for kidding and fooling around. back to serious, I want to be more busy, more "no-life" life .. for what - what for - I also do not know. Let's see and wait till my breaking down point. I doubt this day would be far away !
a lot of unwanted/ unexpected things have been happening which made me feel so sian, stressed and depressed recently.
is it right to say that the peak of this year was over, and now it is the time to experience your own downturn :(
day by day, accumulated unwanted/ unhappy things keep occurring continuously, which I'm here striving hard to overcome it little by little till it really strains me out
I'm out of breadth, i'm out of energy - just to realize that I'm not that strong as I ever thought so.
Striving to do things little by little - even though when one unwanted thing happens, it could waste away all my little effort - then the question is what am I striving for ? the result would still be a "No" anyway.
Everyone knows that nobody could always maintain or stay forever at the peak, it would be a time for you to come down, so that others could shine. and yes, here I'm sobbing over my little failure/ downturn. How pathetic I am !
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" We have nothing to hold back there ."
Your words keep echoing in my mind. Yet you are right. I sincerely hope that your application goes well, so that you could get rid of this kind of life which you have been suffering for years. No one can guarantee a better one over there, but perhaps you deserve to have something new in your life. To refresh, to turn over a new leaf, to start all over again, to experience new things .
A bit puzzling when you said my life over here was fast, thus why I was like being flooded/ flown away with my hectic life. However I am not really sure what you said was right or not.
different countries, different place and thus, different life style, different pace. If I were you , I would have love your life style, instead of my own one then. I do feel that my life pace now is fast, but somehow it seems not fast enough to really flood me away to everything. I'm actively forcing myself to be busy, to be involved in so many things. The funny thing is that I even don't know the real reason why I do so. All I want is to make my life turn worse, depressing. and then when I achieve it, I could go crazy and feel depressed about it. How crazy I am .
haizz, enough for kidding and fooling around. back to serious, I want to be more busy, more "no-life" life .. for what - what for - I also do not know. Let's see and wait till my breaking down point. I doubt this day would be far away !
Sunday, 27 November 2011
“当失落的时候，你不在身边。
为什么，生活好转后，你才出现，你认为你还值得待在我身边吗? "
我是真的好累了
为什么，生活好转后，你才出现，你认为你还值得待在我身边吗? "
我是真的好累了
Trying to learn how to love my life although it already sucks
We - human being should really learn how to forgive and move on.
Of course, people makes mistakes in their entire life and of course, you and I are no exception. But come on, at the end of this life, what is the point of holding your anger, your selfish . What For ? when the time comes, we need to leave this life and go to another place, so what else can you bring along with ? Be selfish, be angry, be stupid, be dump for what ..
I don't tell you to really forgive and forget for what had happened, whatever happened were already done, nothing can be undo, nothing can be changed. So at least learn to forgive and move on. No matter how you hold your anger in, no matter how you want to take revenge, it is only going to hurt everyone. You are unconsciously hurting yourself, your family members.
It's just so sad to have to see these kind of things like this . It really sucks.
I feel so sad for you, at this moment in your life, you are supposed to live care-free, without anything to worry much. Damn it, I feel sorry for you but sadly I couldn't do anything for you as well.
Let's hope, pray and leave everything else to God's hands. If that is what He wants you to go through, then so be it.
Thursday, 20 October 2011
no matter ...
No matter how beautiful or pitiful your past was, You could not do anything about it anymore. So move on & live a new life.
Since you have decided to leave my side & move on with your life, I shall respect your decision & support you, no matter how hard it could struck me .
Feeling like I have 2 lives in my life. Whenever I come back there & then come back here again, I always feel there is an extremely difference, both feel like coming home for me. But if I have to choose one, I think I would want to stay here, even though I still have my family over there, but yeah, this is my choice and I won't regret !
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
Wish to have one person who could understand what I am feeling right now, what I have been through these time, what I have experienced so far.
It would be a lie if I say I don't need a person who stands by me, supports me & gives me strength morally & physically. Feeling so weak & down at this moment, But yet I have to move on in life. Sometimes at a certain point in time, I do seriously need a person to stand by me, but again, feeling disappointed realizing the fact that there is no one could be here with me.
Day by day, strangers pass by, friends pass by, relatives pass by . yet no one stops by & wait for me. Here the life's pace is not that fast as compared to others, I still have time to do some stuffs but yah the loneliness is still there, existing lively with me - another lively-yet-deadly creature in this Life.
Do feel like running away from all these things, yet every time I think about it, that person's question once again echoes in my mind " Would you forever run away from matters like this ? " Sometimes wishing that I suddenly lost some particular memory in my mind, so that I could turn over a new leaf. Like drama, like .... < --- yah I know it's lame.
It's not that I miss you, yes I repeat again one more time, I don't miss you anymore & it's true. whatever I write here is because of some certain things happened and it made me tired.
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
I love reading these lines SO MUCH <3
big big admiration for the one who wrote it ( of course it is not me )
Since you have decided to leave my side & move on with your life, I shall respect your decision & support you, no matter how hard it could struck me .
Feeling like I have 2 lives in my life. Whenever I come back there & then come back here again, I always feel there is an extremely difference, both feel like coming home for me. But if I have to choose one, I think I would want to stay here, even though I still have my family over there, but yeah, this is my choice and I won't regret !
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
Wish to have one person who could understand what I am feeling right now, what I have been through these time, what I have experienced so far.
It would be a lie if I say I don't need a person who stands by me, supports me & gives me strength morally & physically. Feeling so weak & down at this moment, But yet I have to move on in life. Sometimes at a certain point in time, I do seriously need a person to stand by me, but again, feeling disappointed realizing the fact that there is no one could be here with me.
Day by day, strangers pass by, friends pass by, relatives pass by . yet no one stops by & wait for me. Here the life's pace is not that fast as compared to others, I still have time to do some stuffs but yah the loneliness is still there, existing lively with me - another lively-yet-deadly creature in this Life.
Do feel like running away from all these things, yet every time I think about it, that person's question once again echoes in my mind " Would you forever run away from matters like this ? " Sometimes wishing that I suddenly lost some particular memory in my mind, so that I could turn over a new leaf. Like drama, like .... < --- yah I know it's lame.
It's not that I miss you, yes I repeat again one more time, I don't miss you anymore & it's true. whatever I write here is because of some certain things happened and it made me tired.
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
" Je n'aime que toi et seulement toi - I love you one and only..
Même si je meurs avant toi, j'emporterai ton amour avec moi - Even if I die before you, I’ll take your love with me..
Je promets de t'aimer pour toujours - I promise to love you forever. "
I love reading these lines SO MUCH <3
big big admiration for the one who wrote it ( of course it is not me )
Saturday, 15 October 2011
my mind reflection !
had a great time back there , got to know a new friend, went to some cool places & experienced again the flood of uncontrolled past memory :|
whenever I was back there, don't know why but there was a kind of feeling that make me feel stressed.
Was it because of what was happening over there, about family, about life or simply because of me ?
Random thoughts flashed in my mind here & there, I thought I already forgot all of them but suddenly all that memory was once again played back. something that even my logical mind could also not control it, so in the end I let it be, let it play & let it run wildly in my mind, again and once again
memory once again was being flashed but it was not because of any particular person, wasn't it ?
last hour when i was there, i managed to make a last phone call to someone, out of my surprise that person picked up the phone . and then we talked for like more than half an hour, we both understand what the other wanted to say or would like to hear, but neither one of us said it out first, or we refused the last opportunity which was given to us.
let it be ! Like what i said , "what will be will be "
" life is not a stage so don't need to wear your mask and perform to anyone. be yourself and do whatever you want. etc etc " I still remember i told u all these things , actually did not know the reason why i told u so haizz
let just be friend for now, I don't want to think too much , for such a long time, I don't really put my trust in all kind of relationship ( of course there are some exceptions ). It's not that I'm not a committed type of person, it's because I haven't found the right person so that I could share everything with .
One of my friend ever told me the last time when i met her there, she said no matter how successful in life I could be, behind all that glory, I would still need a family so that I could know where to come back, where to spend my life with & thus, it would make my life complete.
I felt so touched when i heard what she told me, yes she got the point. But in order to make it happen, it requires tones of effort & overflowing love to maintain that love relationship. Am I ready to commit myself & be serious in a relationship ? The answer is I still Don't Know
You have your life over there, which I can't imagine how tough it could be and I also have my life over here, which you again also don't know what I might be through .
Each of us has our own things that we Have to do in life, everyday seems like a mundane routine, where we might repeat something unconsciously, yet we have to do it anyway . Isn't it boring ?
For you, you and you ( etc) I wish you all the best and do whatever you feel right in your life, because after all that is your life, which I could only be a viewer, a stranger, a supporter in a sense, a friend ( perhaps) and nothing else. vice versa, it goes the same thing for you.
Be my stranger, be my friend, be my love, be my family or be my nothing. It's up to you and to me to work it out !
whenever I was back there, don't know why but there was a kind of feeling that make me feel stressed.
Was it because of what was happening over there, about family, about life or simply because of me ?
Random thoughts flashed in my mind here & there, I thought I already forgot all of them but suddenly all that memory was once again played back. something that even my logical mind could also not control it, so in the end I let it be, let it play & let it run wildly in my mind, again and once again
memory once again was being flashed but it was not because of any particular person, wasn't it ?
last hour when i was there, i managed to make a last phone call to someone, out of my surprise that person picked up the phone . and then we talked for like more than half an hour, we both understand what the other wanted to say or would like to hear, but neither one of us said it out first, or we refused the last opportunity which was given to us.
let it be ! Like what i said , "what will be will be "
" life is not a stage so don't need to wear your mask and perform to anyone. be yourself and do whatever you want. etc etc " I still remember i told u all these things , actually did not know the reason why i told u so haizz
let just be friend for now, I don't want to think too much , for such a long time, I don't really put my trust in all kind of relationship ( of course there are some exceptions ). It's not that I'm not a committed type of person, it's because I haven't found the right person so that I could share everything with .
One of my friend ever told me the last time when i met her there, she said no matter how successful in life I could be, behind all that glory, I would still need a family so that I could know where to come back, where to spend my life with & thus, it would make my life complete.
I felt so touched when i heard what she told me, yes she got the point. But in order to make it happen, it requires tones of effort & overflowing love to maintain that love relationship. Am I ready to commit myself & be serious in a relationship ? The answer is I still Don't Know
You have your life over there, which I can't imagine how tough it could be and I also have my life over here, which you again also don't know what I might be through .
Each of us has our own things that we Have to do in life, everyday seems like a mundane routine, where we might repeat something unconsciously, yet we have to do it anyway . Isn't it boring ?
For you, you and you ( etc) I wish you all the best and do whatever you feel right in your life, because after all that is your life, which I could only be a viewer, a stranger, a supporter in a sense, a friend ( perhaps) and nothing else. vice versa, it goes the same thing for you.
Be my stranger, be my friend, be my love, be my family or be my nothing. It's up to you and to me to work it out !
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